Out of Character awsomeness!
by broadwayfreak123
Summary: this is not a totally awsome story made for people who only like the "real deal". i threw it together in 1 day so yeah... but it's funny. It has no particular plot.
1. fan fiction!

Occ Randomness!

**Alice pov**

"Hola Bella!" I screeched as I raced down the stairs. "Guess what Bella! Guess what, guess what!"

"What Alice?" she asked tentatively.

"I had sugar Bella! That's what! I had brownies and cookies and three foot pixy sticks! And now I'm going insane! He he! Let's do something evil Bella! Let's prank the boys!" I WAS going insane. Oh man this would be fun!

"Let's not Alice… wait a minute? You had sugar? But wouldn't you just throw it right back up?" she was so funny when she was confused.

"Ah, Poor Bella. Don't you realize this is a random fan fiction written by a desperate fan that is just messing around and making us totally unlike ourselves?"

Bella was confused again. "But I seem fairly like myself. Besides it's not like all my emotions and thoughts were poured into a book and that book was published and beat Harry Potter on the top teen books list. So how could there be fan fiction about it?"

I answered her question. "Actually Bella, yes there is a book exactly as you described named Twilight. And then there's one about when Edward left named New Moon. And another of when Victoria and the new-borns were attacking. And yet another of your most personal thoughts and experiences poured into a book of when you and Edward went on your honey moon and the Volturi attacked." Tee hee! Man was I evil!

Bella looked abashed. "But…But how, when, why, HOW?!" Bella practically screamed. Oh boy… Edward was going to hear about this. Hmmm maybe I could prank both of them.

"Edward will be here in three, two, and one…" my vision had not failed me. Edward zipped down and picked Bella up immediately. The concern in his eyes was completely noticeable. But luckily the writer, being a total Edward fan, was going to mess with that.

Edward dropped Bella and started talking, fast. "Bella you are such a nerd how could I have ever loved you? You are clumsy and shy. I hate those types of girls, and you are no exception. I wonder how you ever tricked me into loving you?!" as soon as Edward finished he immediately looked ashamed. "Bella I'm so sorry! I didn't mean those harsh words! They were terrible and I have no clue where they came from."

Bella looked so much more than surprised. "Edward! This IS a fan fiction! Alice told me all about them and it's terrible and Edward you're an over protective idiot. You're selfish and conceited."

Meanwhile!

"Ha ha! Yes! Edward and Bella must breakup! Then Edward will be all mine! He he!" The delusional fan fiction writer was twitching in her chair. She was overly excited. She was SO excited she had a heart attack and died. Everyone went back to normal and live happily ever after.


	2. Rosalie and asparagus

**Out of Character Awsomeness 2**

**An: sorry about this chapter I had WAY too much fun with Google's translator. It's really cool, check it out. Now on with the story.**

**Rosalie's pov**

"Cześć Bella. What's up?" Hmmm that's strange for some reason I felt like speaking polish. But I never speak polish. Hmmmm?

"Ummmm Rosalie? What does cześć mean?" Ah that's right. She hasn't had enough time to study polish yet… we would have to fix that.

"It's polish for hi. So whatcha doing?" man I was being more like Alice than myself. I wonder what that was about. "Ce este plecare pe aici?" whoa! Where'd the Romanian come from?

"Honestly Rosalie! I have no clue what you're saying." Gosh! Can't she just look it up on Google?!

"It's Romanian for what's going on here! And I mean that!" I like English. Why would I, out of the blue, start speaking polish and Romanian?

"Oh no!" Bella groaned.

"What" I asked. She sure was acting strange. Then again so was I…

"Rosalie, I think we're in another fan fiction. Apparently, our lives were made into books and people loved them. It's a very scary thing the people can do to us. And there are always the bad fan fictions in which we are totally unlike ourselves."

"Alrighty then. I'm very sorry I have to do this Bella but I'm going to have to submit you to a mental asylum. Oh and you are way prettier than me Bella how do you get so pretty? Hold up, Hold up! What did I just say?! Hmmm I think I'll go to sleep now, nighty night mommy." Wait a second. I can't sleep. Oh well I'm ugly anyway why don't I just give up? Good night.

"Rosalie you CAN'T go to sleep. It's not physically possible for you, or me for that matter."

"Watch me." I muttered. Can I go to sleep? Let's find out.

"No Rosalie! Don't leave me! I love you!" What the heck?!

"Why Bella! I didn't know you, er, felt that way. I'm sorry but I don't, um, share your feelings. I'm sorry?"

"Liar!" Bella screeched. "I never loved you!"

"Bi polar much? You seem unlike yourself today Bella, is anything wrong?"

"I want chocolate! Give me your chocolate or I shall run a train over the fair maiden!" Bella was almost screaming in my ear. Man was that girl pushy.

"Okay Bella, I'll get you you're chocolate, stay right here." Wait was I being nice? That was unlike me too. I wonder…

""I don't like chocolate! Give me some espárrago!" Why did Bella want asparagus and why did she demand for it in Spanish?

"Bella, you don't like asparagus… It's disgusting, even when you're human, which you're not." What the heck was happening?

Just then Edward walked in. "Hey Rosalie, hi Bella. Another insane fan fiction writer is trying to control your life again Bella. I had James, your bestest buddy take care of her for you. I don't think you'll be bothered again. So how's life?"

**The End**


	3. What song will we sing next, James?

**An: Okay, so in the words of other authors I'm too lazy to list, whomever answers the most of these names of these songs gets the next chapter dedicated to them.**

Bella's pov

La di da! Oh what a wonderful day. "I think I'll sing about it." I stated out loud, earning me a few worried glances. "This is living, this is what I call living!" I belted out, not particularly on- pitch. "Pour me the milk, but hold the honey. Bring on those funny money woes. Paying Paul by robbing Peter, laid a way to by my clothes. Summer on the Isle of Coney, winter in h**l's kitchenette." I sang. The Cullens were staring at me, looking like I had to go to a mental asylum. ;

Then Alice started singing. "Johnny looked like an angel in his suit, and tie as he visited the queen of Boola Boola. And he hoped he'd remember all the do-s and don'ts of the manners that he learned in school-a." she said, her perfect voice ringing, every tone in key.

Then, the craziness continued. Jacob ran in, busting the door down on his way, and started singing, complete with a dance routine. "This is real, this is me. I'm exactly how I'm supposed to be. Gonna let the light, shine on me. Now I know, who I am. There's no way to hold me in. No more hiding who I'm supposed to be, this is me!" he sang, looking directly at Edward.

Edward shook his head, and stood up. "I'm not a super model, and I still eat McDonalds, but baby that's just me. Some say I need to be afraid of losing everything, because of where I had my start and where I made my name." he sang, his angels voice far better off than Jacob's.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh you guys. Looks like Edward is gonna win the prize. Oh my gosh you guys." I sang. Hmmmmm… isn't there something wrong with the thought of all of us randomly bursting out singing. I thought about it a bit. Nope, I decided.

"You can dance; you can jive, having the time of your life. Oooh. See that girl; watch that scene digging the dancing queen." Esme sang. Whoa, I thought. I've never heard Esme sing.

Then, reality came back into action. James walked in and asked, "So, what's for dinner?"


	4. AN! please don't skip!

I don't have ANY reviews for last chapter! Come on, I know for a fact that you guys can do better than that! So, what are we gonna do? (Review!) (Lolz, that rhymed!)


	5. The Package

**An: Sorry guys, I've been REALLY lazy, lately. I've basically quit the other stories I've been writing and just concentrate on the ones that I like to write. One of them is a new one I just started. It's about Jacob imprinting on another girl, please check it out! This is another one of them, since I don't really have to plan a plot or anything, I basically just type. So yeah, enjoy! =-D**

**Bella pov**

I walked into a local McDonalds in Forks. I decided that I wanted a diet coke, even though I couldn't exactly drink it, unless throwing it back up sounded appealing. It didn't. I got one anyway.

When I got to the front of the line, the worker was smacking a wad of gum in her mouth. "Yeah, what'll it be," she asked in a tacky diner lady accent.

"I'll have a diet coke."

"Will that be it? You could use some meat on those bones. Get a couple triple cheeseburgers."

"No thanks. Your cheeseburgers aren't appealing. I like Burger King better," I told her, just to bug her. Her gum really was annoying. It sounded like she was clapping her hands right by my ears.

Her eyes lit up, fire burning in them in a way that I'd never seen before. "SHUT UPPP!" She actually did scream it in my ear.

"Give me the money, and no one gets hurt," I said, pulling out a bubble blower.

She laughed. "I'm invincible to bubbles! I have trained for many years!!!"

"HYAH!!!!!!!!" I smacked her with the stick.

She dropped to her knees, screaming in agony. "WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME!" she yelled at the sky.

"I win, now give me the package." I looked sneakily around. This didn't seem to be unusual. I was getting used to fanfiction messing with the way I said and did things. It actually got pretty fun, once I got over the initial shock.

She handed me an apple pie. I snatched it out of her hand and walked out side. "I got the package, boss." I still looked forward, not daring to look to my side. Boss liked staying mysterious.

"Good, good. Where is it?"

I pulled the apple pie out of the trench coat that suddenly appeared on me. "This is it."

Alice stepped out of the shadows. "And the Diet Coke?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I threw myself onto the ground. "I have failed you!"


End file.
